| Tuesday, December 5th, 2006 |
| 5:57 pm |
Tom waits,Chicken Helper and wine in juice cups.
My house is cold and empty. Even when my roomates here it seams hallow. this seams to be a very lonely way to go through life. And while Ive consceaded myself to it Im not gonna pretend i like it. whatever i doubt annyone still reads this anyway. Current Mood:  lonelyCurrent Music: tom waits |
| Thursday, September 7th, 2006 |
| 10:14 pm |
Remember when i had something to say on here everyday. I miss those times. |
| Thursday, August 3rd, 2006 |
| 7:38 pm |
This week
Started with Me finaly Seeing The Murder City Devils. And Ends with me moveing. From Great to lame in one fell swoop. |
| Tuesday, July 4th, 2006 |
| 5:14 am |
Lost my voice hope i didnt break it
I draw in from the cigaret and watch the sun rise its menthol i dont smoke menthols hell i dont even smoke but then again ive done lots of things tonight i dont do anymore. This is the relapse the tip of the iceburg in the downword spiral my ever lasting search for rock bottom. ive spent the night amongst astranged lost and unrequited loves trying to express myself in worthless words left un uttered in dreams unrealized.htere is no hope here just the over played soundtrack of alcoholism and drug abuse and a cold empty bed, pornography and fantasy relationships. things that never happened play out in my mind as realities more vivid than any real life experiance red grey and gold across the horizon fireworks booming hours before echoing in the backround providing abackbeat to a life less than ordinary where angels dont dance and demons dont plot a man alone against the darkness against the sunrise looking into the dawn for hope for light and warmth barely able to support himselfg but wanting nothing more than to find someone else needing his support. records on repeat skipping into the morning light drinks to love not known to life not lived smiles hidden from those they where meant for. empty rooms full of hearts overwhelemed with regrets and actions backed out of kisses left unstollen, feelings left hidden behind masks "im ok Things are just fine ill make it on my own." and no one knows how far from self destrution they are until they are staring at the edge of it and the view from here looks like its a long drop trying aviod the instututions and medications and no im not depressed but sometimes i feel crazy stories of black out provoketion of girls with pretty faces if I cant have them at least I can annoy them ruin theyre nights get the most total form of rejection possible auto destruct sequince engaged abandon ship abondon hope run for your lifes the whiskeys in the blood and the crows are circlling the memories are deleted the wolfs taken hold howling and ranting his hate for the world at large, untill sleep comes and i wake not knowing it happened with new enimies and friends astranged bruesed eyes and acheing bones. ahollowness in my chest that never seams to fill itself in.sex drugs rock and roll it was supposed to be a cure all and lord knows it helps but its just not there anymore you buy a gram of happiness and sure it makes it allright for a few hours but when iots gone and the euphoria subsides the hollow feeling returns stronger more all consumeing than ever consuming more and more of my soul until all is hate and hate is all i know. i journey along the path of my life with a snear on my face for those that seam happy and an ache that dousnt go away A burning desire to ruin things for the happy people to interfear to disrupt disturb make then feel the misery I know it douse love company after all. and thats all im looking for realy a little company to share the misery with someone to stand on porches at 5 am strung out and drunk smokeing unnessasary cigarettes and watch the sunrise with contept for the comeing day. IS this to much to ask someone to share the hate with Current Mood:  crazyCurrent Music: the tossers- fields of althenrye |
| Saturday, June 3rd, 2006 |
| 11:48 am |
I shouldnt make posts when im drunk
I dont hate myself and i dont want to kill myself. im just frustrated with certain sequinces of events that seam to repeat themselfs in my life and the fact that no matter how i play my cards the outcome is always the same. This whole boy meats girl girl says lets be friends boy masterbates in the dark alone ruetine has grown old and stagnant. I think im just gonna move up into the mountians build a shack and live the rest of my life as the hermit I was destined to be. Ill be the crazy old tootheless guy that dersses in fur and talks to trees. Current Mood:  indifferentCurrent Music: Eagles of Death Metal |
| 12:35 am |
Stupid Girls
I do evrreything right and still I get no where fuck all of you any one who ever said it was my lack of canfidence or whatever other excusees you gave me fuck yuo i did everything right and here I am alone again. Fuck Fuck FDuck Fuck Fuck I often hate the fact im to tenacios to kill myself. |
| Sunday, May 28th, 2006 |
| 2:43 am |
Confusion
why is it I cant ever get involved in a relationship were the other parties certian aboout what they are looking for and at the same time im certian about what i want from them. is that to much to ask. just one time, even if only for a little while that things would make themselves clear. Current Mood:  confusedCurrent Music: radio birdman- murder city nights |
| Monday, May 1st, 2006 |
| 4:56 pm |
habent been on here in ages
hello live journal how are you. im absultly the same as last time i uppdated this thing. nothing has changed the same events keep reacouring just with different faces playing the roles. I need to hire some new writers because my lifes turning into one big rerun. Current Mood:  blah |
| Thursday, April 14th, 2005 |
| 4:45 pm |
I will destroy you
One and all shall be suject of my wrath. Quake with fear tiny mortals Current Mood:  deviousCurrent Music: The hooker-Zaombie Maker |
| Thursday, February 24th, 2005 |
| 9:19 pm |
party
its dions birthday/destroy joes house because he is mioving out party tomarrow. there will be bands Ugly casanova,jesus cords, murder death kill, drinking , destruction and god knows what else. it will be at the swamp house on wheeler call me for directions 951-1259. |
| Sunday, February 20th, 2005 |
| 11:47 pm |
Fuck
Hunter S. Thompson died :( Current Mood: crappy |
| Sunday, January 23rd, 2005 |
| 6:55 pm |
Strange dreams
Last night was wierd between bar room covnersations with Jen, running into an old crush and finding out she dousnt hate me and a strange dream where another girl that recently been om my mind kept tellng me to get lost but wouldnt stop holding me my minds all sorts of wierd. Current Mood: weirdCurrent Music: Screamin jay hawkins -I put a spell on you |
| Thursday, January 13th, 2005 |
| 6:53 pm |
oooo look at me im so creative
Bay Of BLood Screams of terror in the middle of the night Blood flows free under pale moon light A life cut short by the blade of anknife Die baby,die baby,die baby die 40 dead on the bay of blood 40 girls rotting in the mud the time has come the tide is high now your gonna now your gonna now your gonna die (chorus) die baby die baby die baby die now you gatta now you gotta now you gotta die die baby die baby die baby die all tied up bound with a gag sure is dark in a duffle bag thers is no escape dont even try now your gonna now your gonna now your gonna die no where to run nowhere to hide time for one final ride howling to the moon i hear you cry die baby die baby die baby die (Chorus) (bridge) cut you down throw you in the drink another victim on the bay of blood (screamin guitar solo) (repeat first verse) (ChorUs x3) Current Mood: sadisticCurrent Music: Nashville pussy-johny hotrod |
| Tuesday, January 4th, 2005 |
| 4:31 pm |
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| Saturday, December 25th, 2004 |
| 1:58 pm |
Bah humbug
Travis gave me aStuffed mupet babyies animal you know the crazy drummer muppet last night but i drank a bunch of absynth and dont know where he went. This makes me sad Crimmas is ruined. Current Mood:  hungoverCurrent Music: none for a change |
| Thursday, November 18th, 2004 |
| 11:46 pm |
two months in the makeing
I just looked back the first entry i made concerning the stupid girl that curently has me unable to think striaght was over 2 months ago. and despit the fact that ive made some progress im realy starting to believe its not going anywhere god what a waste of time. Current Mood:  girls are poopy |
| Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004 |
| 10:35 pm |
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| Thursday, October 21st, 2004 |
| 4:40 pm |
Ive been needing to do this for a while so im just gonna start writeing and see where it goes.
We sat on the hilltop in the moonlight holding hands and watching the city burn. There was whiskey warming our bellys and steam on our breath. The pale light of the moon made her eyes gliter like saphires or the finest cut, I watched the flames dance in them and she began to smile. "We did good huh." She said with a hint of laughter in her voice. "Yeah that whole damb place will be gone by morning and so will we," this started her laughing an intoxicateing if not somewhat chilling sound. I leaned in and kissed her the warmth of her lips filling me with a passion hot enough to light the city ablaze all over again. "I feel like Bonnie and Clied," she said,"Lighting fires, robing banks it all so exciteing."I looked her over siting there on the hood of our car the pale light half illuminateing her soft curves making her short blond hair shine and exagerating the deep red of her lips. She looked glamourus like a movie star but the fires reflected in her eyes made her seem dangerous she could have played Bonnie in the movies she was the perfect fem fatale. "That place had it comeing," i sneared,"Dirty hellhole maybe the fires will burn awaythe sins of that town. I hope theres nothing left noone eather for that matter." It was her turn to kiss me now gentall and consolling like a bandage for a deep cut. "Quite you've had your revenge and the last laugh for that matter," she was right i had and it had been easy stratigicly placed explosives and clues left to the locations of other bombs that didnt exist to keep the police busy. Just as the bombs start to blow we hit the bank lifting just short of a million dollars. Not without bloodshed though I had to shoot the guard as well as a costumer who tried to be a hero.The car had been hid in a location where no one would see us getting into it and with everyone distracted by the chaose of the explosions it was simple to slip quikly out of town. "We should go," I said at last, "there is going to be people out here soon if we dont and I would realy like to get into some clothes without blood on them." "To the road then and a new more advanturous life,"She said smileing as i took her hand and pulled her from the hood of the car. To the road i thought and the life of an outlaw I could feel the gun against my skin knowing that it was going to be my lover just as much as she was if not on a deeper level. We had been freaks and outcasts before but now we were killers and criminals. There would be no regrets no remorse only a bloody trail of those who had crossed us. A smile came to my lips and i pulled her close if anyone were to see us they would have witnessed the perfect image of young love sillouted against the back drop of a gaint full moon at the top of the hill overlooking a burning city. Shortly after that they probly would recieve a bullet to the head. Current Mood:  creativeCurrent Music: Turbo Negro |
| Sunday, October 17th, 2004 |
| 12:53 pm |
what a night, Fuckpig
So yeah a lot of shit went down last night.First of all Mike was in town i havent seen mike i years so i hung out with him and we went to the casino. I lost all my gambleing money in less than 20 minutes it ruled. After that i went down to Jakes where shelby was trying to find a lesbian for her freind Jen. So i had some beers danced withthe girls and helped look for a cute girl for Jen. One of my other freinds whom i wont name was there as well geting molested by a transexual but it looked like she was haveing fun. After a while we decided Jakes was "gay" and went to the urban onion Wich was even more gay and had no cute lesbians so we eneded up in the back bar listening to gay boys call each other fags and fuckpigs and ohter hillairity. we laughed at them until last call then i had to argue with shelby about why she couldnt drive finaly she consented and she slept in my front seat while iwe took jen home clear out in tumwater, Then it was back to shelbys house downtown were i spent like fifteen minutes getting her convinced that she wasnt sleeping in the car finally got her in the house. and eventualy into her bed. Then she got all pissed at me cause i wasnt staying and called me names like fuckpig then got even more mad cause i was laughing and passed out. i then went home and thats the story of my night at the gay bar. Current Mood: amusedCurrent Music: Rise against |
| Tuesday, October 12th, 2004 |
| 9:15 pm |
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